We do choose fun, and I also believe once we find our purpose, fun will come along with it too… however, we have to continue finding ways to have fun on our playground;) Thankd for the reminder😋
Sometimes we really forget that we need to stop for a freaking second, take a step back and ask ourselves questions! and damn, why do we have to take everything so extremely seriously? i'm glad you shared this and found your fun side of it again!
Thanks so much for sharing your time and giving it a read, Valentina! Love this addition to the convo to just stop one second and ask ourselves questions. Just like the one you left here! So happy you’re here and sure hope it helps you too. 💜
Awesome message, Ashley, and this needs to be screamed out from the rooftops!!! First business, even though it wasn't successful, I wasn't having much fun at all. And I think that was the biggest reason why I burned out and had no passion to improve it/pivot when needed.
Now I'm trying to be more mission-driven and focus more on the fun aspect (which Substack is so awesome for!). Hopefully I can balance that with revenue goals and not have that blind me 🫣
If you ever feel like you’re being blinded by it and want a fresh set of eyes, come find me. You’re creating something special. Don’t forget why you came. I think fun needs to be accounted for the same way we do everything else in business. Seriously. Don’t hesitate to come by if you need me. 💜
Loved this line because it is exactly how I feel - “All because I let someone put a price tag on my playground.”
I had someone ask me when I was going to put on my paywall recently and it kind of annoyed me a little bit. I’m just enjoying myself right now, figuring it all out, learning about myself…and it’s not to say that I’m never going to do it, I’ll do it when it feels right. ☺️
Yes, Jo!! Just be you and take it one step at a time. Do what’s right for you, when it’s right for you. So happy this one landed. Thanks for sharing some time with me.
Bubbles aren’t favorite! And swinging. And dancing with silk flags. Did you know that dizziness is an altered state of mind? Why get high when you can twirl until you drop with the room still spinning 😁
Love this Ashley, I think whatever you do, it probably won't always be fun, but if you are constantly dreading it, then something is wrong for sure. The fun should definitely be the bigger share. And that goes for many aspects of life I believe, own companies, employed situations, relationships - if it is harder than it is easy most days, then it may not be right.
And don't get me wrong, fun does not mean lounging around and not doing anything, hard work and hustling to make things happen are fun as well!!
Great addition to the conversation, Matthias. That’s a great point that it’s not always going to be fun, but it shouldn’t be dreaded. 🙌 I’ve made some adjustments and am acting accordingly. How about you? Have you run into this before?
I think with my main jobs I was always quite fortunate that when I started to dread it a little, I was able to make a change. The magic of huge corporations, most times there is a position you can pivot to, to get a fresh start.
With my personal project, I am determined to keep going as long as I enjoy it, but I am a first time founder so only have little experience there. But as it is my own, I guess I could make adjustments when the fun times get more rare.
"He chuckles into his coffee." Wow Ashley, I had no idea you had elite writing skills (not being sarcastic either!). Seriously, your writing style is excellent and fun to read. Super cool.
But to the point of the post, I think you already know I love this. And honestly I went through an eerily similar experience with my Twitter biz. As it transitioned from meeting and connecting with cool people to doing whatever we're supposed to do for the algorithm, it stripped the fun out of it.
So glad you're bringing this up because it's CRUCIAL for longevity, and really just for personal happiness and fulfillment.
I'm super pumped to dive into more of your posts - I can't believe I was only hanging out with you in notes and comments 🤦🏼♂️
Hey Rob! No worries 😉 really appreciate you giving it a read. And sharing your real world experience with this too. Suspect it might be more common than we think, perhaps we should talk about it more??
And thanks for the genuine compliment on my writing. It’s crazy…I’ve been reluctant to call myself a writer recently and I’m like “why not?” I write. There’s no rule on what qualifies.
I’ve just been realising the exact same this week! I’ve written about it in the context of discipline and consistency which so often drain the fun out of things. They have an important function but can interfere with the feeling of making a choice, which is so important to mindset and feeling like you’re having fun. It’s funny how quickly we slip into default patterns. The more we get used to spotting the slip, the easier it is to reframe quickly.
That’s an amazing point, Serena! Often times the first step is to notice. We skip over that entirely and wonder how we end up where we do. The noticing of the slips gets easier and from there we can choose to adjust. So happy you’re here and really appreciate you giving it a read. 🤗
You are onto something. My toxic trait is I have a book for every problem. However since I have you pegged as a nerd who likes information, check out The Power of Fun by Catherine Price. She does a masterful job of defining fun, and helping you paint a roadmap to finding more of it in your life. Full disclosure the first part where she tells you exactly why your phone is ruining your life will make you want to slit your wrists but stick with it like most things the gold is at the end.
Ohhh thank you so much for this! I’ve added it to my audible. AND I don’t think I can let go of my phone. Not after I discovered Breathe with Sandy 🔥🥵🤣
Actually I wanted to ask you about it. I noticed a change since you hit 1000. Like that number did something internally. Suddenly you had to take it seriously because you reached a certain milestone? I felt for a few posts you became a bit more curated, a bit more how to say .. like .. edited?
You are lucky you have people like Anthony who can ask questions in real life over a coffee which make you hesitate and think. That kind of conversation is rare. And well..clearly necessary! 🤷🏻♂️
Glad to hv you back in the playground Ashley. The real you. That is who makes this place better. This article is the version of you I have come to know here and am so fond of. 😊💕
Thanks, Human! 💜 you can always do real talk with me, yeah? I think you’d be quite good at it. Put your big corporate pants on and talk to me like someone that’s made you “just disappointed, not mad.” 🤣
Anywho—is that why you weren’t commenting on my posts? I was like, damn…where is Human? Maybe he got busy. Nope…just wondering if the real Ashley Butler would please stand up. 🤣💜🙌
Haha no no .. I don’t do that. I would have still replied .. with some vague generic comment. 😋 I really did get busy.. doing nothing and celebrating hermit week. Was wonderful .. missed a lot of posts as I was focused on writing. Writing articles which I finally never posted. 🤷🏻♂️
Yes, having fun is a choice! I think sometimes it's easy to forget that, like fun it supposed to land in our laps without any effort. But maybe sometimes it's a permission thing. Your article also make me think of my boys when they say, "Mom, I'm bored" like I'm supposed to be the supermom with activities ready on demand. I think fun can be found in the simple things too. Don't make it complicated <3
So kind Ashley, thank you! I’m realizing that fun has a different taste for me as a mom than it did before the kids came along. It’s just another thing for me to learn about you know? 😭 I’m trying and I love your article because it honors that, different ways of trying and learning the possibilities of fun 🥰
I loved this Ashley and it gave me permission to keep playing. I came on substack to get back in touch with my creativity. Nothing was making me sit down and write…. Until I decide to come back after a year’s break. I had no idea what I was doing so I initially watched, then gently commented, then started being bolder and having fun. And I think you and I bonded comically over hakuna matata and Bras as eye masks. This playfulness has grown for me and I am convinced it has made me more creative. And I LOVE IT! It’s what I’ve needed after too much loss. Sometimes I worry that people think I don’t take it seriously! But I do! It’s just the only way into my creativity is through play. And now I’ve found it I can’t give it up! It lights me up, makes me laugh, connects me with others and gives meaning to my life. So I totally agree with you! Let’s keeping playing so that fun fuels our words!
Ohhhh this makes my heart so happy Gill! Thank you for sharing this with me. Please try not to worry too much about what people think. If they’re judgmental it’s because they wish they had something you do. It’s always a them problem. We will play on, sister! 💜🙌
Maybe no more bra eye masks for a bit…but I’m sure we will find some new shenanigans.
Shenanigans all the way Ashley! And thank you! I think I’m learning that people have their own insecurities and if I stay true to myself that will always be enough. The right people will find me. Connection is all and everything else follows if it’s meant to! Great post! Loved it!
i want to share an anecdote with you for pondering...
CONTEXT
it as 1992 (i know, i know ancient history), and my employer was interested in TQM. so was i, so i threw my name in the hat to become a quality facilitator.
meanwhile, back to my current job. i was a system programmer in a large IBM mainframe environment. to improve my productivity, i hid. i found a terminal in a "lights out" machine room that held half of our disk drives. it was dark, except for the window the monitor was near, temp was about 60F, and the only sound was the hum of spinning 3390 disk drives... i could crank out so much code... damn it was guuuuuuuuuuud. i'd spend the whole day in there except for lunch, workout, and bio breaks... me and "tha machine".
then, i was selected to be on the TQM team!! wooooo whoooo!!!
they threw me head first into the deep in of the pool. i was working with a very skilled facilitator that had developed much of the material we were using, and i was "co-facilitating" with her.
first day went okay, but even to me something felt wrong.
day two, obviously something was wrong.
i asked linda, "do you feel it? something is way wrong." she felt it. so, at the end of day two, we asked the manager of the 25 person unit to say a while an talk to us.
linda said, "tell us about the team".
he explained that he was made manager about 3 months ago after 3 months with no manager. he added that there were 2 or 3 factions fighting each other and he hadn't found a way to bring them together. then he started crying... his wife was diagnosed with cancer and he was struggling at work and home.
linda asked him to "talk to the team, and share your personal burden"
so, day 3, he tells the team what is going on, tears running down his face... actually his whole team was crying... and so was my co-facilitator Linda. i wasn't (that is a another story involving me having a thumping gizzard instead of a heart...).
day 4, the unit was a team. literally working together to solve team problems.
day 5, TQM training was done for the team and it was a grand slam home run...
THE DILEMMA
driving home after work on day 5, i'm thinking, one week i'm sitting in a room by myself all day and loving my work, the next week i'm facilitating a team of 27 people that are all crying, and i'm loving my work...
EPIPHANY
it made me think about how i could enjoy two seemingly opposite working conditions...
after a few days of thought i concluded that what i enjoyed was:
- learning how to attain important, impactful results (with a tendency toward learning about how people and the organizations they create, think and operate, from clubs to nations.)
- contributing to the attainment of important, impactful results
if those two conditions exist, i like what i'm doing and those two simple traits are true to this day, 34 years later.
Choose fun. Choose joy. Choose the suck. Choose play.
I’m “sensing” a theme here.
Because whatever we choose we own. And I can live with that.
Agree with this 💯 Daniel!! Life’s all about choices. So happy you choose to come be a part of these shenanigans with me. Thank you. 💜
We do choose fun, and I also believe once we find our purpose, fun will come along with it too… however, we have to continue finding ways to have fun on our playground;) Thankd for the reminder😋
Love this addition, Belle! Totally agree that the fun can follow.
Sometimes we really forget that we need to stop for a freaking second, take a step back and ask ourselves questions! and damn, why do we have to take everything so extremely seriously? i'm glad you shared this and found your fun side of it again!
Thanks so much for sharing your time and giving it a read, Valentina! Love this addition to the convo to just stop one second and ask ourselves questions. Just like the one you left here! So happy you’re here and sure hope it helps you too. 💜
Awesome message, Ashley, and this needs to be screamed out from the rooftops!!! First business, even though it wasn't successful, I wasn't having much fun at all. And I think that was the biggest reason why I burned out and had no passion to improve it/pivot when needed.
Now I'm trying to be more mission-driven and focus more on the fun aspect (which Substack is so awesome for!). Hopefully I can balance that with revenue goals and not have that blind me 🫣
If you ever feel like you’re being blinded by it and want a fresh set of eyes, come find me. You’re creating something special. Don’t forget why you came. I think fun needs to be accounted for the same way we do everything else in business. Seriously. Don’t hesitate to come by if you need me. 💜
Loved this line because it is exactly how I feel - “All because I let someone put a price tag on my playground.”
I had someone ask me when I was going to put on my paywall recently and it kind of annoyed me a little bit. I’m just enjoying myself right now, figuring it all out, learning about myself…and it’s not to say that I’m never going to do it, I’ll do it when it feels right. ☺️
Yes, Jo!! Just be you and take it one step at a time. Do what’s right for you, when it’s right for you. So happy this one landed. Thanks for sharing some time with me.
You’re a rockstar! Such an important reminder every time 🫧🤸
I love that you bring bubbles and play to your comments! 🙌💜
Bubbles aren’t favorite! And swinging. And dancing with silk flags. Did you know that dizziness is an altered state of mind? Why get high when you can twirl until you drop with the room still spinning 😁
Well…if you don’t hear from me for a few days, you’ll know why. I spun too much. 🤣
😂💫🤸
Love this Ashley, I think whatever you do, it probably won't always be fun, but if you are constantly dreading it, then something is wrong for sure. The fun should definitely be the bigger share. And that goes for many aspects of life I believe, own companies, employed situations, relationships - if it is harder than it is easy most days, then it may not be right.
And don't get me wrong, fun does not mean lounging around and not doing anything, hard work and hustling to make things happen are fun as well!!
Great addition to the conversation, Matthias. That’s a great point that it’s not always going to be fun, but it shouldn’t be dreaded. 🙌 I’ve made some adjustments and am acting accordingly. How about you? Have you run into this before?
I think with my main jobs I was always quite fortunate that when I started to dread it a little, I was able to make a change. The magic of huge corporations, most times there is a position you can pivot to, to get a fresh start.
With my personal project, I am determined to keep going as long as I enjoy it, but I am a first time founder so only have little experience there. But as it is my own, I guess I could make adjustments when the fun times get more rare.
"He chuckles into his coffee." Wow Ashley, I had no idea you had elite writing skills (not being sarcastic either!). Seriously, your writing style is excellent and fun to read. Super cool.
But to the point of the post, I think you already know I love this. And honestly I went through an eerily similar experience with my Twitter biz. As it transitioned from meeting and connecting with cool people to doing whatever we're supposed to do for the algorithm, it stripped the fun out of it.
So glad you're bringing this up because it's CRUCIAL for longevity, and really just for personal happiness and fulfillment.
I'm super pumped to dive into more of your posts - I can't believe I was only hanging out with you in notes and comments 🤦🏼♂️
Hey Rob! No worries 😉 really appreciate you giving it a read. And sharing your real world experience with this too. Suspect it might be more common than we think, perhaps we should talk about it more??
And thanks for the genuine compliment on my writing. It’s crazy…I’ve been reluctant to call myself a writer recently and I’m like “why not?” I write. There’s no rule on what qualifies.
Glad you’re in it with me. 🙌
I’ve just been realising the exact same this week! I’ve written about it in the context of discipline and consistency which so often drain the fun out of things. They have an important function but can interfere with the feeling of making a choice, which is so important to mindset and feeling like you’re having fun. It’s funny how quickly we slip into default patterns. The more we get used to spotting the slip, the easier it is to reframe quickly.
That’s an amazing point, Serena! Often times the first step is to notice. We skip over that entirely and wonder how we end up where we do. The noticing of the slips gets easier and from there we can choose to adjust. So happy you’re here and really appreciate you giving it a read. 🤗
You’re welcome, and thanks for all your interesting and inspiring writing!
yes! fun fun fun! that's my motto. they call me the fun guru. just have fun!
Are you going to name your next album that!?!
You are onto something. My toxic trait is I have a book for every problem. However since I have you pegged as a nerd who likes information, check out The Power of Fun by Catherine Price. She does a masterful job of defining fun, and helping you paint a roadmap to finding more of it in your life. Full disclosure the first part where she tells you exactly why your phone is ruining your life will make you want to slit your wrists but stick with it like most things the gold is at the end.
Ohhh thank you so much for this! I’ve added it to my audible. AND I don’t think I can let go of my phone. Not after I discovered Breathe with Sandy 🔥🥵🤣
I keep him in my pocket too!
Actually I wanted to ask you about it. I noticed a change since you hit 1000. Like that number did something internally. Suddenly you had to take it seriously because you reached a certain milestone? I felt for a few posts you became a bit more curated, a bit more how to say .. like .. edited?
You are lucky you have people like Anthony who can ask questions in real life over a coffee which make you hesitate and think. That kind of conversation is rare. And well..clearly necessary! 🤷🏻♂️
Glad to hv you back in the playground Ashley. The real you. That is who makes this place better. This article is the version of you I have come to know here and am so fond of. 😊💕
Thanks, Human! 💜 you can always do real talk with me, yeah? I think you’d be quite good at it. Put your big corporate pants on and talk to me like someone that’s made you “just disappointed, not mad.” 🤣
Anywho—is that why you weren’t commenting on my posts? I was like, damn…where is Human? Maybe he got busy. Nope…just wondering if the real Ashley Butler would please stand up. 🤣💜🙌
Haha no no .. I don’t do that. I would have still replied .. with some vague generic comment. 😋 I really did get busy.. doing nothing and celebrating hermit week. Was wonderful .. missed a lot of posts as I was focused on writing. Writing articles which I finally never posted. 🤷🏻♂️
Hermit Week details:
https://substack.com/@thehumanbonds/note/c-274306571?r=7kjjyy&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
Yes, having fun is a choice! I think sometimes it's easy to forget that, like fun it supposed to land in our laps without any effort. But maybe sometimes it's a permission thing. Your article also make me think of my boys when they say, "Mom, I'm bored" like I'm supposed to be the supermom with activities ready on demand. I think fun can be found in the simple things too. Don't make it complicated <3
Ohhh love this so much, Stacey! The “mom I’m bored” hit me hard. I’m like damn…I’m being a brat and Stacey just brought the real talk 🙌🤣
Yes! Finding fun in the simple things…I’ll add it to the reflection I do each week. Thanks for lending your guidance, I really appreciate it.
So kind Ashley, thank you! I’m realizing that fun has a different taste for me as a mom than it did before the kids came along. It’s just another thing for me to learn about you know? 😭 I’m trying and I love your article because it honors that, different ways of trying and learning the possibilities of fun 🥰
I look forward to that reflection!
A long time ago, I read the advice... Don't make your hobby your business... You will lose your hobby.
This conflicts with the idea for starting up a business Use your experience in a hobby to build your new business.
My solution is to have more than one hobby!
Ohhh I love this, Ian! More than one hobby is a great idea. 💜
I loved this Ashley and it gave me permission to keep playing. I came on substack to get back in touch with my creativity. Nothing was making me sit down and write…. Until I decide to come back after a year’s break. I had no idea what I was doing so I initially watched, then gently commented, then started being bolder and having fun. And I think you and I bonded comically over hakuna matata and Bras as eye masks. This playfulness has grown for me and I am convinced it has made me more creative. And I LOVE IT! It’s what I’ve needed after too much loss. Sometimes I worry that people think I don’t take it seriously! But I do! It’s just the only way into my creativity is through play. And now I’ve found it I can’t give it up! It lights me up, makes me laugh, connects me with others and gives meaning to my life. So I totally agree with you! Let’s keeping playing so that fun fuels our words!
Ohhhh this makes my heart so happy Gill! Thank you for sharing this with me. Please try not to worry too much about what people think. If they’re judgmental it’s because they wish they had something you do. It’s always a them problem. We will play on, sister! 💜🙌
Maybe no more bra eye masks for a bit…but I’m sure we will find some new shenanigans.
Ps your bra eye mask moment will always be a highlight of my return to substack. I just thought…. I have found my people!!!!
🤣💜🙌
Shenanigans all the way Ashley! And thank you! I think I’m learning that people have their own insecurities and if I stay true to myself that will always be enough. The right people will find me. Connection is all and everything else follows if it’s meant to! Great post! Loved it!
i want to share an anecdote with you for pondering...
CONTEXT
it as 1992 (i know, i know ancient history), and my employer was interested in TQM. so was i, so i threw my name in the hat to become a quality facilitator.
meanwhile, back to my current job. i was a system programmer in a large IBM mainframe environment. to improve my productivity, i hid. i found a terminal in a "lights out" machine room that held half of our disk drives. it was dark, except for the window the monitor was near, temp was about 60F, and the only sound was the hum of spinning 3390 disk drives... i could crank out so much code... damn it was guuuuuuuuuuud. i'd spend the whole day in there except for lunch, workout, and bio breaks... me and "tha machine".
then, i was selected to be on the TQM team!! wooooo whoooo!!!
they threw me head first into the deep in of the pool. i was working with a very skilled facilitator that had developed much of the material we were using, and i was "co-facilitating" with her.
first day went okay, but even to me something felt wrong.
day two, obviously something was wrong.
i asked linda, "do you feel it? something is way wrong." she felt it. so, at the end of day two, we asked the manager of the 25 person unit to say a while an talk to us.
linda said, "tell us about the team".
he explained that he was made manager about 3 months ago after 3 months with no manager. he added that there were 2 or 3 factions fighting each other and he hadn't found a way to bring them together. then he started crying... his wife was diagnosed with cancer and he was struggling at work and home.
linda asked him to "talk to the team, and share your personal burden"
so, day 3, he tells the team what is going on, tears running down his face... actually his whole team was crying... and so was my co-facilitator Linda. i wasn't (that is a another story involving me having a thumping gizzard instead of a heart...).
day 4, the unit was a team. literally working together to solve team problems.
day 5, TQM training was done for the team and it was a grand slam home run...
THE DILEMMA
driving home after work on day 5, i'm thinking, one week i'm sitting in a room by myself all day and loving my work, the next week i'm facilitating a team of 27 people that are all crying, and i'm loving my work...
EPIPHANY
it made me think about how i could enjoy two seemingly opposite working conditions...
after a few days of thought i concluded that what i enjoyed was:
- learning how to attain important, impactful results (with a tendency toward learning about how people and the organizations they create, think and operate, from clubs to nations.)
- contributing to the attainment of important, impactful results
if those two conditions exist, i like what i'm doing and those two simple traits are true to this day, 34 years later.
what does Ashley Butler like?